Welcome 2023!

 I must say, 2022 went by very quick.  Quicker than I would have liked.  It is said that the older you get, the faster time goes.  I can attest to the fact that this is true.  I remember as a kid, wishing I was older so I could do this or that.  My parents would say, "Don't wish your life away".  But, I thought my life would be happier, more fulfilling when I was "older".  If I had known then, what I know now, I would have savored every single day of no responsibility....no worry about making sure bills are paid or how much gas or eggs cost.  Those were the days.

Recently, I put a little color in my hair.  When my hair grew back after chemotherapy, it came in grey.  I don't hate grey hair, but I was just tired of looking at it.  I wanted something different.  So, I went to a real salon and had some light color...just a very light brown with a bit of purple added to it.  You can't really tell there is purple, but it just highlighted the grey.  In the sun, you can still see the grey.  I love it.  But, my husband asked me if I was having a mid life crisis.  I had to laugh.  I'm about to turn 58 in 11 days.  I've got news for him....I am way past mid life.  I'm over the hill and down the road a bit.  I mean, how long does he think I'm going to live?  

I tell you all of this just to let you know what my goals are for this year.  My goal is simply to live each day as it comes.  To do my best to see a little good in every day.  To not be so quick to judge people or circumstances, but to let things play out.  To take better care of myself.  To put me first often.  To do the things that make me happy.  I've seen all over social media that people are choosing a "word" for the year.  I've chosen the word BREATHE.  I'm going to concentrate on taking slow, deep breaths several times a day.  I'm going to take a breath before I speak.  I'm going to try to not be so impulsive...with my thoughts and definitely with my mouth.  I'm going to spend more time outside, walking and enjoying nature (such that it is in Florida in the middle of summer).  And, I'm going to try and laugh more...at myself and at life in general.  

As I type all of that, it seems like a lot.  I tried to have a small goal so that it would be easier to attain.  We shall see. I hope, if you're reading this, that you have some goals of your own for this new year.  My advice to you is to try and do something that makes you happy each day.  It shouldn't matter if your single, married, divorced, separated or widowed, a parent or childless.   Do something for yourself every day.  You can not give fully to others if you are depleted.  

So take a deep breath and enter 2023 with the energy and anticipation of that child you used to be all those years ago.  

Happy New Year!

Just Wondering

I'm seriously contemplating returning to this space.  I feel like writing was therapeutic for me.  I didn't always use the right words or construct the best sentences, but I was speaking from the heart.  I always felt as if a weight had been lifted after posting.  Perhaps it's time to begin the journey...again.

I'm not so sure that people even read blogs anymore.  When I started my blog, 10 or so years ago, Facebook was just beginning.  Since then, social media has boomed and communicating is much easier, albeit less personal.

I guess it isn't important if anyone reads my words.  But, it will be important for me to write them. So, on this day before Thanksgiving 2018, I will continue my search for the Joy in the Journey.

Half a Century!

I'll be fifty years old in January!  F-I-F-T-Y!  Where did the time go?  The last twenty years have been filled with cross country moves, job changes, engagement, marriage, having babies and breast cancer.  It seems as though it was only yesterday that I was graduating from high school! 

As my 50th year approaches, I find myself becoming more and more melancholy.  I don't think it's because I fear getting older or dread getting closer to death, although that may very well be part of it. But as I reflect on my life, I'm becoming more and more aware of the time that I've wasted.  And let's be honest, I've wasted a ton of time!  I wonder how much time I've wasted on worrying, watching T.V. or surfing the internet.  I bet I've wasted a fair amount of time gossiping or wishing for things I don't have and plotting how I can go about acquiring those things.  I know for a fact that I've wasted time wondering what other people think, what other people are doing and being frustrated that they don't want to do it my way.

I'm sure that my parents and other adults warned me about this when I was younger.  "Don't wish your life away", my mom used to say. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Do you want to know what I wish for today?  More time!  I wish that I could have these 50 years back...or at least a good 25.  I would definitely do things differently.
I would have spent more time with my mom.  I would have paid more attention when she told me stories of her past.  I would have watched her cook...and written down ingredients and recipes.  I would have sought out more time with extended family members...kept in touch better.  I would have spent more time reading instead of watching T.V.  I would have talked less about praying and actually prayed more.  I would have spent more time trying to help others and a little less time focused on myself.

I don't know why I'm having such hard time turning 50.  All of us have regrets, or things that we would do differently.  But here's the thing:  We don't get that time back.  We don't.  What's done is done.  Still, we can look forward.  We can be mindful of those things that we know are good and worthy of our time, talent and treasure.  We can look back on our past with a sense of determination that we can finish what we've started or totally begin again.

The pages on this blog are going to be about how I "begin again".  My journey is not over just because I'm turning 50.  I may be on the down side of the hill, but I still have some time.  I'm going to do my best to not blink.