Life Advice

 So, a creator on Instagram (@SahilBloom) asked a question of several 90-year-olds on what advice they would give their 32-year-old selves.  Since I turn 58 tomorrow, I was curious what their answers would be.  Here are their answers:

1. Now and then, break out the fancy china and drink the good wine for no reason at all.

2. Dance at weddings until your feet are sore.

3. Tell your partner you love them every night before falling asleep.  Someday you'll find the other side of the bed empty and wish you could.

4. Don't fear sadness, as it tends to sit right next to love.

5. Treat your body like a house you have to live in for another 70 years.

6. Never raise your voice, except for at a ballgame.

7. Do one good deed every single day, but never tell anyone about it.

8. Time doesn't heal anything when it comes to relationships.  Don't delay difficult conversations.

9. Find the things that make your eyes light up.  Do more of those.

10. Always remind yourself that your track record for making it through your bad days is perfect.

11. If something has a minor issue, repair it.  Minor issues become major issues over time.  Applies equally to love, friendships, health and home.

12. The most damning lie you can tell is the lie you tell to yourself.

13. No one has ever argued their way to happiness.

14. If you're going to lose a fight, make sure the other person thinks twice before fighting you again.

15. Getting old is no picnic, but it's much better than the alternative.

16. You may occasionally disappoint others, but make sure you never disappoint yourself.

17. Never let a good friendship atrophy.  Send the text, make the call, plan the trip.  Good friendships must be treasured.

18. When you meet someone, look them in the eye, give a firm handshake, and call them by their name.

19. Give everybody a second chance, but never a third.

20. The "good old days" are always happening right now.

21. Whenever you hug someone, make sure they are the one to let go first.

22. If it's raining on a warm summer evening, go outside and dance in it.

23. Taking no risk is the biggest risk you can take.  Regret from inaction is always more painful than regret from action.

24. It doesn't have to be perfect for it to be wonderful.

25. When in doubt, love.  We can always use more love.

26. Looking presentable is a matter of self-respect.

27. When you're feeling down, smile at yourself in the mirror for one full minute.

28. Travel as much as you can.  Collect one token from every trip to remember it by.

29. If there's something bothering you, ask yourself whether it will matter in one month.  If not, let it go right now.

30. Stop trying to change people who don't want to be changed.

31. You may win the argument, but if you lose the friend, what was the point?

32. Stubborn pride is the downfall of many men and women.  Learn to forget the slight hurts and avoid grudges.

33. Do one thing that challenges your mind every single day.  A crossword puzzle, math problem, anything.  Daily "exercise" will keep your mind sharp for the long haul.

34. If something isn't working and your gut tells you to try harder, first ask whether there's just an easier way to do it.

35. Allow your kids to fail.  You will hate it, but it's so important.

36. There's nothing wrong with shedding old relationships as you grow and change.

37. No amount of money is worth trading for your peace of mind.

38. If your kid wants to dance in line at the store, join them.

39. Smile and say good morning to strangers on the street.

40. Laugh loudly and unapologetically whenever you feel like it.

Interesting list.  At 58, my list would be a bit different, but there are definitely some nuggets of wisdom here.  I feel like #17 and #36 are a bit contradictory, but I do get the point being made in both.

I think my favorite is #20, "the good old days are always happening right now".  That's so true.  What my children will see as their good old days are completely different than what I see as mine.  But time marches on, regardless.  There is an order to everything.  We are born, we live and we die.  Always.  No one gets out of here alive.  Many have gone before us and all will follow.  In a strange way, that's comforting. 

P.S.  Sadness and love really do sit right next to each other (see #4).

Welcome 2023!

 I must say, 2022 went by very quick.  Quicker than I would have liked.  It is said that the older you get, the faster time goes.  I can attest to the fact that this is true.  I remember as a kid, wishing I was older so I could do this or that.  My parents would say, "Don't wish your life away".  But, I thought my life would be happier, more fulfilling when I was "older".  If I had known then, what I know now, I would have savored every single day of no responsibility....no worry about making sure bills are paid or how much gas or eggs cost.  Those were the days.

Recently, I put a little color in my hair.  When my hair grew back after chemotherapy, it came in grey.  I don't hate grey hair, but I was just tired of looking at it.  I wanted something different.  So, I went to a real salon and had some light color...just a very light brown with a bit of purple added to it.  You can't really tell there is purple, but it just highlighted the grey.  In the sun, you can still see the grey.  I love it.  But, my husband asked me if I was having a mid life crisis.  I had to laugh.  I'm about to turn 58 in 11 days.  I've got news for him....I am way past mid life.  I'm over the hill and down the road a bit.  I mean, how long does he think I'm going to live?  

I tell you all of this just to let you know what my goals are for this year.  My goal is simply to live each day as it comes.  To do my best to see a little good in every day.  To not be so quick to judge people or circumstances, but to let things play out.  To take better care of myself.  To put me first often.  To do the things that make me happy.  I've seen all over social media that people are choosing a "word" for the year.  I've chosen the word BREATHE.  I'm going to concentrate on taking slow, deep breaths several times a day.  I'm going to take a breath before I speak.  I'm going to try to not be so impulsive...with my thoughts and definitely with my mouth.  I'm going to spend more time outside, walking and enjoying nature (such that it is in Florida in the middle of summer).  And, I'm going to try and laugh more...at myself and at life in general.  

As I type all of that, it seems like a lot.  I tried to have a small goal so that it would be easier to attain.  We shall see. I hope, if you're reading this, that you have some goals of your own for this new year.  My advice to you is to try and do something that makes you happy each day.  It shouldn't matter if your single, married, divorced, separated or widowed, a parent or childless.   Do something for yourself every day.  You can not give fully to others if you are depleted.  

So take a deep breath and enter 2023 with the energy and anticipation of that child you used to be all those years ago.  

Happy New Year!