Preparing

God must have been preparing me for what was to come.  He drew me to that scripture study on purpose. 

Yesterday, the school Baker Acted my daughter.  For those of you not in Florida, this means she was involuntarily committed to a mental health facility.  They didn't tell me until after they had done it.  From what I can gather, she was not upset or violent in any way, but this stemmed from something she wrote in a journal that she shared with her ESE teacher.

They handcuffed her.  She is twelve.

After several hours, I was able to see her.  She is scared but being very brave.  She is very worried that Dan and I are angry with her.  When I left her, she was wearing paper clothes, socks they gave her and no shoes.  They placed her own clothes in a paper grocery bag, stapled it shut and put her name on it with sharpie.  Just another statistic.  They wouldn't let me bring her anything last night....no toothbrush, no clothes, not even her "Snuggles" (the bunny rabbit she has slept with since she was born).  They say they can keep her up to 72 hours.  She is with about 10-12 other children her age.  I have no idea what these other children have done, what they are saying to my daughter or how they are treating her.  We won't know anything until a doctor sees her sometime today.  She will be assessed and then they'll call us.  I'm not even sure I can see her today.

As a mother, I am broken.  Truly broken.  I can't stop crying.  Nathan and Olivia are devastated.  My 15 year old son ( He'll be 16 tomorrow) sobbed in my arms last night.  He asked me if he could keep her "Snuggles" with him last night.  My sweet 16 year old boy...connecting with his sister.  We are truly going through the fire of refinement right now.  God is working.  He is moving.  He is doing something.  I don't mind admitting that I'm not at all sure about this.  I have absolutely no idea what to do next.

My God, how did we get here?